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The others trickled back to the house long before first light, but Thomas ignored the sounds dying gaiety from his position some ways down the beach. He’d taken a walk as soon as he’d hung up with Alice, not being in much of a mood to be good company and without the patience to fake it. He’d walked past a mural of sea life and kept going until he found a tumbled pile of boulders jutting out into the sea, a sad excuse for a jetty. He picked his way over the rocks and sat down on a mostly flat, mostly sturdy one, letting the taste of sea air and the occasional bit of spray wash over him.
Justine had always loved the ocean. Before he’d found Harry, Thomas and Justine had jetted around the world, staying in the most extravagant hotels, eating at the best restaurants and partying at the most exclusive clubs, but always within sight of the crashing waves. It was yet another little sacrifice she had made for him, to stay in Chicago with Lara. She claimed Lake Michigan was enough, that it was just being able to see water on the shore that she wanted, but only a part of him believed it. For the moment alone, Thomas allowed himself to unearth the memories he’d buried, to remember the smell of Justine’s perfume mingled with salt air, the way she’d laugh in delight when the sun gilded the water gold. They rarely made it down to the beach, preferring to stay indoors with the touch of silk sheets and an ocean view rather than trysting in the sand.
Given the amount of sand he’d shaken out, maybe that was something he should look back into.
With nothing but the sound of waves in his ears, Thomas’ thoughts settled, falling into two distinct arguments that advanced and retreated in his mind like some sort of neverending fencing demonstration. He’d promised Justine he would stay, because she thought this place was good for him. She knew he would do anything she asked and had never asked for anything, so how could he deny her that one simple request? Even now, his promise to Alice ringing in his ears, Thomas couldn’t help but hope that it wouldn’t be necessary, that he wouldn’t have to break his promise to Justine to fulfill one to Alice.
But if he was losing control of the Hunger, he couldn’t stay. It was simple as that.
The thoughts chased themselves through his head some more, falling into the same rhythm as the lapping waves, until the sharp cry of a pelican jolted Thomas out of his half-slumber. The last thing he needed was to fall asleep out here. Feeling no less conflicted than when he’d first begun, Thomas stood and squared his shoulders. It was a bridge he’d cross when he came to it. Until then, no amount of internal turmoil was going to do him any good. The mask of easy laughter and teasing, tempting sensuality fell back into place as Thomas picked his way back up the beach. Justine’s motorcycle was the only vehicle left, and Thomas started it with practiced ease, raising a faint cloud of sand behind him.
Justine had always loved the ocean. Before he’d found Harry, Thomas and Justine had jetted around the world, staying in the most extravagant hotels, eating at the best restaurants and partying at the most exclusive clubs, but always within sight of the crashing waves. It was yet another little sacrifice she had made for him, to stay in Chicago with Lara. She claimed Lake Michigan was enough, that it was just being able to see water on the shore that she wanted, but only a part of him believed it. For the moment alone, Thomas allowed himself to unearth the memories he’d buried, to remember the smell of Justine’s perfume mingled with salt air, the way she’d laugh in delight when the sun gilded the water gold. They rarely made it down to the beach, preferring to stay indoors with the touch of silk sheets and an ocean view rather than trysting in the sand.
Given the amount of sand he’d shaken out, maybe that was something he should look back into.
With nothing but the sound of waves in his ears, Thomas’ thoughts settled, falling into two distinct arguments that advanced and retreated in his mind like some sort of neverending fencing demonstration. He’d promised Justine he would stay, because she thought this place was good for him. She knew he would do anything she asked and had never asked for anything, so how could he deny her that one simple request? Even now, his promise to Alice ringing in his ears, Thomas couldn’t help but hope that it wouldn’t be necessary, that he wouldn’t have to break his promise to Justine to fulfill one to Alice.
But if he was losing control of the Hunger, he couldn’t stay. It was simple as that.
The thoughts chased themselves through his head some more, falling into the same rhythm as the lapping waves, until the sharp cry of a pelican jolted Thomas out of his half-slumber. The last thing he needed was to fall asleep out here. Feeling no less conflicted than when he’d first begun, Thomas stood and squared his shoulders. It was a bridge he’d cross when he came to it. Until then, no amount of internal turmoil was going to do him any good. The mask of easy laughter and teasing, tempting sensuality fell back into place as Thomas picked his way back up the beach. Justine’s motorcycle was the only vehicle left, and Thomas started it with practiced ease, raising a faint cloud of sand behind him.
